It hurts to find out that what you wanted doesn’t match what you dreamed it would be.
–Randy K. Milholland
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
–Edgar Allan Poe
The world I see is scenes within scenes unwound to breathe in poetic dreams.
Some say dreams come true, that dreams are the window to the soul. But what are dreams of heartache, deceit and lies? A nightmarish reality awaiting to steal the soul?
It is that dream, again, always the same, never changing.
I shake my head and try to loosen the dream from my sleep.
The dream wants to linger as if it has yet to tell its story.
What is the time? I do not know, but it is still dark.
I whisper to the dark, “What is it you want?” There is no answer.
The pain strikes me as it has each and every time,
the heaviness in my chest presses further down like a ton of rock.
I jolt awake, wide eyed, hot with perspiration,
my breathing rushes out in uncontrolled spasms.
I force myself to calm as I rub at the pain in my chest.
I feel the pain travel down one limb, feeling weak and vulnerable, my will giving in.
Slowly my nerves recover, albeit with unwelcome consequences.
My breathing slows. I sense this may be it.
The dream gives way to reality like a fog lifting to reveal truth
“You will always be alone”, my mind plays tricks as I fight these words inside.
My heart shatters as it slows, the stinging in my chest pulsates with every erratic heartbeat.
He does not want to be with you. He does not need or love you.
He lives and breathes, another lover in mind, but it will never be you.
“joie de vivre, no more,” I sigh, as I settle on these facts,
For the next dream, may be my last.